Signs That You Are a Drunk! |
1. You lose arguments with inanimate objects..
2. You
have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the earth.
3. Job interfering with your
drinking.
4. Your doctor finds traces of blood in your alcohol stream..
5. Career won't
progress beyond Senator from Massachusetts..
6. The back of your head keeps getting hit by the
toilet seat..
7. Sincerely believe alcohol to be the elusive 5th food group..
8. 24 hours in a
day, 24 beers in a case - coincidence?? - I think not!.
9. Two hands and just one mouth... - now
THAT'S a drinking problem!.
10. You can focus better with one eye closed..
11. The parking lot
seems to have moved while you were in the bar..
12. You fall off the floor....
13. Your twin
sons are named Barley and Hops...
14. Hey, 5 beers has just as many calories as a burger, screw
dinner!..
15. Mosquitoes catch a buzz after attacking you...
16. At AA meetings you begin:
"Hi, my name is... uh..."...
17. Your idea of cutting back is less salt...
18. You wake up in
the bedroom, your underwear is in the bathroom, youfell asleep clothed. - hmm....
19. The whole
bar says 'Hi' when you come in....
20. You think the Four Basic Food Groups are Caffeine,
Nicotine, Alcohol, and [Women or Men].
21. Every night you're beginning to find your roommate's
cat more and more attractive...
22. Roseanne looks good.
23. Don't recognise wife unless seen
through bottom of glass.
24. That damned pink elephant followed me home again..
25. Senators
Kennedy and Packwood shake their heads when they walk past you..
26. I'm as jober as a
sudge..
27. The shrubbery's drunk from too frequent watering..
28. You wake up screaming "TORO
TORO TORO!" in the middle of the night.
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